Overcoming Obstacles to Prayer – Part VII

“Broken fellowship is a disgraceful testimony to unbelievers.”
Rick Warren – The Purpose Driven Life

Right relationships are vital to answered prayers. You must have a right relationship with God and you must maintain right relationships with others if you want God to answer your prayers. Broken, un-forgiven, bitter relationships with family, friends, colleagues, or anyone else will come in the way of answered prayers.

My grandmother, a wonderful, loving wife of my grandfather, a farmer, had a large Water Oak tree behind her house. It had been there for many years and provided some shade for the house in the summer. When fall arrived, the oak tree dropped its leaves and left them scattered on the ground and on the roof of the house. Every winter or spring, someone had to climb onto the roof of the house to sweep the leaves off. Then, someone had to rake the leaves off the ground. It was messy, tedious work.

Finally after many years, Grandma got tired of the yearly ritual of cleaning up the leaves that the old water oak tree left behind. She decided that it would be best to get rid of the tree. She tried to cut it down, she tried to pour liquid on it to kill it, but it simply would not die. The roots had grown deep into the ground and the tree seemed determined to spread its branches farther and farther.

Bitterness is like that Water Oak tree that Grandma wanted to get rid of. The Bible calls bitterness a root that “springing up causes trouble.” (Hebrews 12:15) Furthermore, it says that many are “defiled” by it.

Untold numbers of churches have been split because of bitterness. Families have suffered and fractured at the ugly hands of bitterness. Men have died with cancer, by the sword, gun or other such means all because of bitterness.

The Lord Jesus taught His disciples some basic principles of prayer and one of the major elements to prayer is forgiveness. He said, “Pray, then, in this way . . . forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.” (Matthew 5:9 & 12) This was the only point that He emphasized at the end of the model prayer. Having rehearsed the prayer, He immediately said, “For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.” (Matthew 5:14-15) The Father’s forgiveness that He offers to us is contingent on our willingness to forgive others.

John Maxwell, the leadership expert and former pastor said in his book, Partners in Prayer, “A person cannot enter prayer with bitterness and come out with blessings.” Blessings and bitterness are not compatible. If you want God’s blessings you must be willing to forgive and lay aside all bitterness.

Forgiveness requires grace and genuine love. If we do not allow God’s grace and His love to saturate our hearts and remove all traces of bitterness, we place ourselves in the place of God. That is, we act as judge against the person who has offended us.

Bernard Ankoma, a friend of mine and a prophet from Ghana, once said in a message, “Until you have loved enough you can’t judge. That is why God is Judge . . . He loves enough.”

Our Lord Jesus said, “Do not judge so that you will not be judged.” (Matthew 7:1)

I have met many people during my years of ministry that have chosen to harbor bitterness in their hearts. I have seen their ministries affected, their families suffer, and I have seen them become angry people who look at life with calloused eyes. A bitter person is rarely a happy person.

There is another important aspect to bitterness that must not be forgotten. It is our responsibility to offer others the opportunity to forgive us when they feel that we have offended them.

Our Lord Jesus said, “Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar and go: first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering.” (Matthew 5:23 – 24)

Have you hurt someone else by your words or deeds? Then you have a responsibility to approach that person and ask forgiveness. Does someone feel that your have wronged them? You have a responsibility as a follower of Christ to go to that person and mend the broken relationship that you have with that person.

Some years ago I was aware that a fellow man of God had been offended by some things that I had said. He felt that I had been critical of him and that I doubted his integrity. I made a few attempts to bridge the gap between us but knew that he still harbored some feelings against me. Then, the Holy Spirit impressed me that I must make a genuine effort to restore the broken relationship that had developed.

I initiated contact with him inviting him to meet me. At that private meeting I humbled myself and begged his forgiveness. He offered me forgiveness and our friendship was restored.

If I had not obeyed the Lord in that matter, surely my ministry would have been affected for I would have been guilty of allowing known bitterness to continue between me and another brother.

There can be no room for bitterness in our relationships. We must do all that we can to oppose and resist the growth of the root of bitterness in our lives and in the lives of others whom we have influence with.

Do you want your prayers answered? Do you want God’s blessing on your life, family, and ministry? Do you want to be happy? Then refuse to carry the complicated and treacherous weight of bitterness in your soul. Forgive those who have offended you today . . . now!
Then when you pray, God will forgive you and will answer your prayers.